The need for speed

Yale Youngblood, editor

The economic situation brings to mind a story I heard back in the day, before my whiskers and belly conspired to get me named “Dad Most Likely to Play Santa” at the family Christmas party. The tale deals with a classroom of first graders, who were being quizzed by their teacher about basic traffic safety.

“So,” the teacher asked, “does anyone know what the green light means?” A little girl in the middle of the class raised her hand. “It means, go,” she said proudly. “That’s right,” the teacher responded. “Now, does anyone know what the red light means?” Another girl raised her hand. “That light means, stop,” she said.

“Very good,” the teacher replied. “Now, here’s a tougher one. Does anyone know what the yellow light means?”
Up went the hand of a boy in the back. The teacher pointed to him. “Well,” the youngster said, “whenever I’m in the car with Dad it means, go faster.”

OK, that wasn’t the answer the teacher was looking for — and it certainly hasn’t been the way the country has dealt with the recession. In fact, it seems that we’ve collectively decided to mash the brakes harder each time we see another discouraging report.

Playing it safe. Since late in ‘08 we’ve been quizzing retailers about their prospects for this year, and what they’ve told us is that, figuratively speaking, there’s one great big yellow light shining from coast to coast. Consequently, garden retailers were/are extremely cautious in what they purchased/will purchase to peddle.

As you’ve no doubt heard — and likely experienced — Johnny will be eating his vegetables in 2009, but as our ace correspondent Robert Hendrickson notes in his column later in the magazine, big veggie sales don’t translate into big profits.

Meanwhile the plant yard is full of natives and your basic low-maintenance varieties. And even a lion’s share of the decorative items seem to be as functional as they are frilly — and generally smaller than in years past. Translation: The average retailer is tightening the fiscal belt where possible, while figuring “need” is going to trump “want” among the paying customers.

But, let's play "what if? ..." Because I don’t like sad endings, I’m adding more to this missive. As grim as the news has been, I would urge you to remember that the light is, still, just yellow. And your customer is anxiously waiting for a sign that things will be OK. Sooner or later someone’s going to go faster.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking, hot rod?